genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
