Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
