I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
