Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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