I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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