I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
