i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize