I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
