It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
