Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize