now i know why i became what i already was.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
