Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
