i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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