You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
