Kiss
Puke
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
