i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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