Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
