My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
