its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
