VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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