fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
