i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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