fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize