Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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