I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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