Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
