Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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