haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
