STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
