I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
