You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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