Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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