her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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