It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
