you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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