I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
