u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We named our party play list daddy issues
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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