yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
