is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
