3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize