so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
