also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
