i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
