problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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