I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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