we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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