I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
