The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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