i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
