Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
