I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
