You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
