I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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