cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
