I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize