I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
