Porn is love you can see.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
she smelled like a LAN party
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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