but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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