he shaved USA in his pubs
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
