I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
