Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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