I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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