He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
